


Say Goodbye to Yesterday

by OnTheGround2012



Series: All I Saw Was You [62]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Future, Angst, Everyone Is Alive, Flashbacks, Future, Future Fic, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Nobody is Dead, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Questioning, Questions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 08:27:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11847765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnTheGround2012/pseuds/OnTheGround2012
Summary: The first time Jackson was pregnant he didn't handle it as well as he expected.





	Say Goodbye to Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> I'm excited to finally share this chapter because it's something that some readers had asked about when I had already written it. So, it was good to know that at least those people were interested and I'm very curious to see how you feel about it... so yeah, please let me know and don't leave me wondering.
> 
> This is something I didn't have in mind to write when I first started this series because the mpreg part wasn't what really interested me, and I think that's obvious in part 1, so this is one of the many things that have surprised me about the development of this story. After all, the sacrifice that Jackson made accepting to get pregnant twice speaks volumes about his love for Stiles and their relationship. That's why the mpreg element has become more important for me and I've written more about it than I ever intended.
> 
> I always say the same but it is the truth and few people know it: Feedback is truly important, it is the key, so I need to mention [this Tumblr post](http://zsphoenix.tumblr.com/post/159757659852/ghastlydisco-scifigrl47-stoneyboboney) for those people haven't realised how important feedback is for the writers and it's cool to see that it's been useful for some people here.
> 
> Anyway, I'm gonna copy the beginning of the post and if with this comment I can help more writers out there who feel like giving up or removing their stories from AO3, I'll be happy. If this useless, at least I tried:  
>  
> 
> _I’ve seen five different authors take down, or prepare to take down, their posted works on Ao3 this week. At the same time, I’ve seen several people wishing there was more new content to read. I’ve also seen countless posts by authors begging for people to leave comments and kudos._
> 
> _People tell me I am a big name fan in my chosen fandom. I don’t quite get that but for the purposes of this post, let’s roll with it. On my latest one shot, less than 18% of the people who read it bothered to hit the kudos button. Sure, okay, maybe that one sort of sucked. Let’s look at the one shot posted before that - less than 16% left kudos. Before that - 10%, and then 16%. I’m not even going to get into the comments. Let’s just say the numbers drop a lot. I’m just looking at one shots here so we don’t have to worry about multiple hits from multiple chapters, people reading previous chapters over, etc. And if I am a BNF, that means other people are getting significantly less kudos and comments._
> 
> _(...)TL;DR: Passively devouring content is killing fandom._
> 
> _^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^_
> 
> _Fandom is kept alive by readers, watchers, lookers, commenters, and supporters. And the FiKi fandom has some MAGNIFICENT ones…but a lot more who click, consume, and say nothing._
> 
> _Otherwise, artists and writers are throwing into a vacuum. And it’s the artists and writers who get blamed when there’s not new content?_
> 
> _This applies to so many fandoms. It makes me so sad to see that even on LJ comms, there are far more people reading things than there are commenting on and liking them. I co-mod one of the oldest sites in a particular fandom, and I know it’s still active because of the sign-ups for our challenges, but it’s so disheartening when people post and nobody says anything._
> 
> _How does that encourage new writers, if the first thing they post gets no response? (...) I don’t know why fandom is getting so heavily skewed towards passive consumption, but I wish I could do something - anything - to fix it. I miss the kind of comment threads that used to lead directly to more fic and art._
> 
> _(Keep reading_ __ _[it here](http://zsphoenix.tumblr.com/post/159757659852/ghastlydisco-scifigrl47-stoneyboboney) and reblog it if you can...)_
> 
>    
> Thanks to my lovely beta, WhenAngelsFall, for her help as usual; she's amazing and I couldn't share this without her advice.
> 
> Title from Ben Hazlewood's "Darkest Hour".

"Jackson!" Stiles says when he doesn't see his husband in the living room. Stiles enters the kitchen area but there's nobody there either.

Stiles takes off his jacket and grabs a bottle of water from the fridge before heading upstairs. He figures that Jackson might be taking a shower but instead, he finds their room with the lights out. It's only thanks to the moonlight coming through the window he can distinguish Jackson lying on the bed under the covers.

It's only around eight so this picture feels totally wrong and Stiles is instantly worried.

"Jackson, what's going on? Are you sleeping?"

"If I had been sleeping, you'd have woken me up, don't you think?" Jackson's tone drips with sarcasm.

And that's not what Stiles expected. He knows well all of Jackson's different tones and what they mean and that tone is not something he likes.

He could say he's sorry but he really isn't. What did Jackson expect? It's normal that he asks what is going on.

"Are you okay? Why aren't you downstairs?" Stiles asks sitting sideways on his side of the bed.

"Define _okay_." Jackson says simply.

"Jackson, come on, you're making me nervous." Stiles reaches out to run his right hand through Jackson's hair but Jackson's hand stops it, grabbing it and pushing it away.

"Don't touch me, okay?" Jackson says, which only confuses Stiles more. "Just, stay away."

"What? What's going on?"

"I'm just sick of all this." Because Jackson thought he could do it but apparently he was just kidding himself. 

"Sick of what?" Stiles frowns, unsure of what Jackson means exactly.

"This! All this!" Jackson says waving his arms. "Everything!"

"Jackson..." Stiles starts but he's not sure what to say.

"My feet hurt, my back hurts, my face is swollen and I'm fat... I’m a fucking whale. Haven't you seen me? I’ll never have abs again." He can't look at himself in the mirror because he can't recognize who he sees anymore. He knows that Stiles can't really understand that. Nobody does.

"Yeah, I can see you right now and you're not a whale, you're pregnant. It's totally different!"

"Yeah, I'm pregnant and I'm fat, and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever see my dick again! Besides, being here twenty four seven is driving crazy! I need to get out of here! I miss my job, okay? And I miss my body! I miss my fucking life!"

Stiles thought that things were going well but obviously he was wrong. It's true that Jackson had been less communicative lately and maybe he should have been more concerned about it but he thought it was just a phase of the pregnancy and that Jackson just needed some space like he does sometimes. He knows how Jackson can get when people worry about him and try to take care of him and that's what he was trying to avoid this time. Besides, this situation is new for them, he didn't know what to expect and he still doesn't.

"This is your life, you know?" Stiles moves closer forward and tries to grab Jackson right hand with his own but Jackson pushes them away.

"I said don't touch me! What part of that don't you understand?" Jackson says harshly.

That shocks Stiles and he doesn't know how to react at first. They've had countless arguments but Stiles can't remember the last time Jackson talked to him that way... it had to be in high school. He's trying to be understanding but it's not easy when he's being talked to that way. Jackson's wolf has to know how he's making him feel and still, he doesn't seem to care and that worries him. Usually touching Jackson makes him relax and makes them feel connected and his husband rejecting any kind of contact doesn't make any sense. 

"Fine." He can stay away if that is what Jackson needs right now.

"I know it's hard. I know that," Stiles tries. "But you're getting your body back. It's just a matter of time. Once the baby is born everything will go back to normal... your body, your job --"

"You don't know that!" Jackson says louder than Stiles would like. "You think everything is so easy..."

"I don't --"

"Yes, you do! You always do!" Jackson interrupts him again. "This was your fucking idea. Have you forgotten? You did this to me! _You_ did. You fucked me and here I am."

And shit, that's the last thing that Stiles was expecting to hear from Jackson. He wants to think it's Jackson's hormones talking right now because otherwise, he doesn't understand anything.

"Yeah, well, I fuck you all the time, so I don't think that's the problem and you know it. We talked about it many times and _you_ agreed. _You_ did. I didn't do anything that you didn't want me to do! And I'm sorry that this is being so hard on you. I never wanted that. And I wish I could do something to help you but I can't... I can't!" Stiles says with frustration.

"Damn right you can't. So just... do me a favor and just go, okay? Just leave me alone."

"Now you're kicking me out? Seriously?" Stiles asks with utter disbelief.

"I'm not..." Jackson licks his lips and Stiles thinks he can see tears appearing in Jackson's eyes but it's dark and he's not totally sure. "I just don't want to talk anymore. I want to be alone, okay?"

"Alone," Stiles repeats with disbelief. 

When Jackson doesn't answer, Stiles gets up from the bed. 

"I can't believe this shit." Stiles spreads his arms wide. He doesn't want to leave... he wants to figure things out. He wants Jackson to feel better. Shit, he wants him to be happy about having this kid... and despite what he's said, he knows that he is, but it's clear that when Jackson gets this way, there's nothing he can do and he knows that too well.

"Fine. I'm going. Knock yourself out," Stiles says before closing the door behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm [otg2012](http://otg2012.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> Feedback is very important in case you don't know and you'd like this story to continue.
> 
> You can comment (and leave kudos) without an account. You only need an e-mail to comment. It's easy and fast.


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